THIS PAGE IS RATED PG-13. SUMIKO IS SICK. LEAVE NOW!
Here is a lovely little spot on my site that has a little bit of everything in it. As I am writing this intro, I am being spoken to on the phone by Serapi, who is being annoying and insisting that Matchbox 20 doesn’t, in fact, suck. She is listing her MP3’s... oie...
Enjoy my wonderful rambling... Interrupted quite frequently by whatever is happening in real life during the time that I am typing this. Serapi says Bush fell down... hmm...
When it comes to music, face it now, I am cranky. I get evil when people try to tell me that anything without a melody line that at least a two year old could write is music. Serapi is mentioning that her sister believes that L.L. Cool J’s “My Hat is Like a Shark’s Fin” is the meaning of life. Just threw that in there. Anyway, I thoroughly enjoy music. I like rock, folk rock, classic rock, classical, country, bluegrass, celtic, new age, some blues, some jazz, some reggae, a small amount of techno, Sting (who is in his own category), October Project (again, their own category, who cannot, contrary to what Serapi says, beat Sting’s category up), hard rock, soft rock, heavy metal, some metal, attempting-to-be-metal-but-turning-into-Bon-Jovi-ish-Bands, etc.
My favorite band is Crosby, Stills, & Nash, and my favorite artist is Sting. Not the wrestler, for anyone who has been subjected to this nation’s public schooling for all of your educational careers. My most hated band thus far must be the Bee Gees! Most annoying band on the face of this planet! Don’t worry about alien invasion! If aliens have eardrums (and according to television, of course they do) all we have to do is broadcast the Bee Gees as loud as we can and they will flee in panic and mark the planet as utterly inhospitable…of course who knows how many humans will be left and how many will have died of mass suicides and attempted stowing away on the alien ships to escape or destruction of the pentagon by C-4 charges or biochemical or nuclear warfare. My most hated artist, and from now on, my marked nemesis, is the diabolical ditz herself, Brittany Spears. It is not enough that the idiot Spears has to go and make millions on albums when she has already shown the world that she has NO SINGING TALENT WHATSOEVER!!!!!!! But now this evil wart on the face of the entertainment industry has dared to venture into a realm where her diabolical schemes will continue to crush the dreams of actual talented people of the earth. Yes, it is true, she has used her demonic powers to utilize echo chambers and to wear hideously scanty clothing to edge her way into the literary industry and write a BOOK!!! Something must be done before this plague spreads and such nontalents and uneducated bimbos as Christina Agulera and ~gasp~ even N-Sync and the Backstreet Boys begin to write! I mean, come on! Who would you rather read a book by while you sit on the can? Dave Barry or Christina Agulera? Answer me that? We are speaking of people who probably cannot even grasp the true meaning of suspense and climax, but it is not like we can stop them…but we can do something….namely this: DON’T buy the book!
Back to the music. I have come to the conclusion that Stephen Stills likes to curse at the world, while Nash likes to sing of love and Crosby of peace. Young, when is there, is just there. Enough said. (sorry all you Young fans.) Sting is a wonderful lyricist and I would love to meet him. His songs are quite often stories and his albums entire novels. (Serapi’s sister’s character on Harvest Moon just passed out on the kitchen floor while his wife was giving birth.)
Boycott Pop!!!!!!!!!!!
Sumiko Speaks: This is My Stuff!!
This is something incredibly simple. It is me speaking about random things that I own. Trust me, I have some rather odd things, and if the things themselves are not odd (please quit being perverted, for heaven’s sake!), their locations (stop it now!) are. Trust me.
I have a lot of odd things that hang on my wall. Some of these are not so odd as others. I do have some normal things, such as kitty posters. Some of the odder things are fuzzy posters, two of unicorns and two of tigers. One of these is a huge one of a very vicious and large lifelike tiger, the other a tiny white tiger. I have a cork bulletin board on my wall, upon which are pictures of myself, my friend Heather, my cat, my brother, my old Brownie troop, a Sadie comic strip, Far Side comics, a couple of prize ribbons, and other odd garbage. I have some of my lousy forest paintings on the wall, one with the ground and tree lit up silver and the sky purply night colours, another with the sky white because I forgot to paint it. O.o” On my wall is a fan with a little bird painted on it. There is also a framed picture of a kitten and puppy, and an unframed portrait of a kitten. There is a family picture, of course, and a big old pokemon poster. I take great pride in my huge Princess Mononoke theatre poster. Most people have calendars in their rooms; I have two on my wall, one on a shelf somewhere. One of my calendars is a dragon one. The other two (one of which is not on wall but shelf) are the exact same kind of cat calendar. Eeep! But above all, the oddest objects on my wall are yet to come. First, the wind chime. Yes, hanging upon my wall is a little glass and brass wind chime with little flowers and a poem upon it. And finally, underneath a unicorn poster, is a paper bag from the Hard Rock Café displayed proudly upon my wall like any wonderful poster. Ta-dah!
Other odd things I have? Ok…here you go…a list of all the sayings I have on all of my little buttons and stickers and such. Any I have created are marked with an *.
1) “People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because its easier to harass rich women that motorcycle gangs.”
2) “Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier.”
3) “Anime: Drugs would be cheaper.”
4) “Duck tape is like the Force. It has a Light Side, a Dark Side, and it binds the Universe together.”
5) “Cats: Now and Forever”
6) “To save time, let’s just assume I know everything.”
7) “I’m multitasking: I’m listening to you and pretending I’m interested.”
8) “Stop whining and listen to my problems.”
9) “Frankly, I find your approval strange and disturbing.”
10) “ I didn’t realize that part of my job was being psychic.”
11) “ My computer hates me.”
12) “Neurotic in my own special little way.”
13) “Enter with caution, Nuclear shelling in progress.”*
14) “Do Not Enter; Aldeberanian Nova Tiger Within”*
15) “My cat walks all over me.”
I have yet other odd things, do not despair. I have, for instance, a singing Elton John doll. I have a Darth Vadar action figure, Luke Skywalker’s lightsabre, a statue of Bast, hundreds of stickers, tiger striped shirt and bluejeans, Sailor Moon dolls, a huge blue stuffed rabbit, a typewriter, calligraphy set, a Polish coin, a hematite necklace, and a tiny dragon statue made from unicite. ::beats the crap outta Ranzy as he mentions my whip Serapi as she mentions all the rotting food and Crits as she mentions my 20 gauge and all my knives:: Go away you guys! ::grumbles at the mention of my file cabinet full of colouring books, crayons, and art supplies and the other one full of Cat Fancies and other cat related stuff::
I have managed to be present for some rather odd occurrences at schools in my life. Some of these events lasted only a few seconds or minutes, some lasted hours, and others managed to stretch on for months. That one is actually one of the oddest, although whether it would be considered a single odd event or several VERY related events is beyond me. Read on, mes amis (mes amies)!
At the private school that I used to attend, many of us skipped eating the terrifying cafeteria food and headed directly for the food and beverage dispensers located in the little stage area next to the gym. Well, I now am given a reason as to why our principal is ABLE to rent the school house for only a dollar a year. SOMETHING got into that snack machine. It was acting up, giving out a bit of extra change every time anyone purchased anything.
At first it was just a dime or quarter or forty-five cents, but then it happened. Suddenly the snack machine just started spewing out change! Piles of silver coins fell onto the floor, there for the taking. Now, of course I did the only smart thing. I ran. I was not gonna stand there and get crushed by a multitude of teenage boys out for loot to fill their pockets with.
So you decide. What was with the snack machine that day? An evil or good spirit? Or just a malfunctioning machine? But wait! Another story springs from the same school!
At this same school, we had lockers. Yes, lockers! Can you believe it? We actually had lockers! In a school! What’ll they think of next! Who would have ever dreamed of using lockers in a school! Ok, enough of that. Anyway, the arrangement of these lockers was rather odd. Each bank of lockers had several sets of lockers, but instead of them being like normal sets, just one locker on top of another, these were two short and very skinny lockers right next to one another. Located above these were two very squat, one above the other book lockers that could only be opened by the correct switch inside of their corresponding skinny locker below. Odd, no? Are you confused yet? Serapi says it’s very exciting.
Well, one day, I happened to be walking down the hall. I don’t remember exactly why. The one thing I do remember is that the hallway was completely deserted. Well, I was going down the hall on some errand or another, and I was passing by these lockers. There was no warning, no ominous music or sounds or creaking or sudden stop of noise or anything like that. The locker just did what it did. One of those top locker doors (the ones that could only be opened from inside the little skinny lockers below that no human could ever fit in) just swung open with tremendous force. Scared the willies outta me! Now you tell me there ain’t somethin’ goin’ on in that school. I ain’t saying ghosts, but maybe the French Mafia or something. I mean, think of it. Why else insist on keeping French class around.
At this same school, one of the boys got ahold of this stuffed rabbit and happened to call it Bunny Foo Foo. He would sneak up behind one of the girls in our class and then "the bunny" would "sexually assault" the poor girl. So the girls of our class came up with a plan. They Bunny-napped Foo Foo and hid it away. The boys found it and the assaults resumed. When the girls saw another opening, they stole the Bunny again and hid it in the least likely to be searched place, the vent. For weeks the search for the Bunny went on in vain. Finally, someone let the location slip, or the boys stumbled upon the secret encampment....it is unknown, as stuffed bunnies take no prisoners. Anyway, the girls had had about enough. It was time for the final stand. This time, gathering all of thier feminie allies, moi included, the girls hijacked the Bunny and dressed her as a streetwalker with a bladder problem. Then, two secret spies of the femme gov slipped into the boys restroom, with some help from a secret double agent, hanging poor Foo Foo from her ears from the bathroom ceiling tiles!
This incident occured at my new school. A young man who shall remain known only as Mr. Lost was in the same second period english class as Crits and I. The class had a substitute one day, and he had been left with instructions to have us watch "Moby Dick" on video. So of course we hung out and paid no attention whatsoever. Well, suddenly Mr. Lost started to show people his underwear (whilst wearing them), claiming that the FTL on them stood for "Feel the love". Well, this became too much for me when he tried not only to get me to feel his underwear but to draw them. Finally he wandered off to other parts of the room, but the ordeal wasn't over yet. I happened to look up just in time to see him moon the entire class! Talk about scarred for life!